Accept what you are

Sep 3, 2007

Accept what you are

I could waste a lot of time and energy hating my shape and size, and sometimes I do. I’d really rather weigh sixty pounds less. But I don’t. And it’s not like I will lose those sixty pounds overnight, either. (No, this isn’t a paid post for liposuction, I promise. ;-)

A shopping trip I took last week was eye-opening. The girl at the changing room (she who hands out numbered tags and folds up rejects) was very patient as I made my three trips to the changing room so that I could have a fit. The first lot I brought in looked terrible. I had Larges and XLs and they were way too tight across the shoulders. My mind rebelled: had I gone from XL to XXL, an extra X never before seen? Then I realized that I’d grabbed these items from the Misses section and that while they could certainly accommodate my tummy they couldn’t manage my shoulders, which have been run through a 1400cc motorcycle for two years.

So I went back for more. I found some nice tees and polos, though it was really rather hard to find large enough sizes in colors I could wear. I don’t do shades of yellow and orange that well, I didn’t want white or black, and that’s what’s in. But I got that lot to the room and discovered that they were all long-sleeved. It’s August. It’s pushing a hundred degrees outside. And they’re selling stuff for the Fall.

The fashion industry is a moron.

I held on to the one boring white short-sleeved polo that was okay, and went hunting for more. I found myself in front of a shelf full of lovely bright-colored short-sleeved polos. The problem? This was the plus-size shelf. I have hitherto managed to stay away from the plus shelf. It’s a self-image sort of thing; a not admitting that I’m fat kind of thing. I was already sufficiently disgruntled by what the stark, cruel lighting of the changing rooms revealed.

I have a body where stuff wobbles. That’s just how it is. From this shelf, this shelf that proved that I was currently a plus-woman, I could get purple, red and navy. I did not have to wear white, black or mustard.

I told my self-image to go get stuffed. I am what I am. And now I am what I am in some colors that I like.

Suggestion: Stuff vanity. Buy clothes that fit in colors that you like and accept what you are. You can surely change it, but not in time for work.

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Comments

16 Comments, Comment or Ping

Sherrie (33 comments.)

Hurray hurrah I love it!!! ;-) I wrote this for empowerment for women about my relationship with my sometimes jiggly body ;-)

“where my shifting body shape is celebrated, both for its feminine roundness and for the wisdom of age that it represents.
A place where bumps, veins, and blemishes are not determinants of my beauty. And it is a place where beauty is not something to be attacked. Where I am allowed to be sexy for me, where no one defines my sexiness, nor determines who I am allowed to be sexy for, and where my body is respected and not an excuse for rape, death, or ostracization. A place where diversity is not just welcomed, but celebrated. Where self esteem is encouraged and built from within, not attacked and stolen from others.”

I stand by that, and fashion would die quickly if we followed that. ;-P

I still want to guest post but it may be the end of the week before I do. I went to Switzerland instead. ;-)

Sep 3rd, 2007
Susan Helene Gottfried (21 comments.)

“The fashion industry is a moron”

Yup. That pretty much sums it up.

Sep 3rd, 2007
J. Lynne (35 comments.)

“The fashion industry is a moron.”

Yes.

My problem is that for some reason the fashion industry thinks that plus sized women want tacky moo-moo Hawaiian flowers and other large flower prints and wild prints and tremendously bright colors. They don’t seem to understand that I used to shop in the misses section with the normal prints and that I like wearing conservative solids or that I’m a Autumn.

I’m so frustrated.

Sep 4th, 2007
Marina (86 comments.)

Amen to that, J. Lynne… I am working on not driving myself crazy/depressed by browsing the misses and junior sections in Target, knowing that their upper limits will come nowhere near what I can wear decently or comfortably.

I recently had to stop in at Volde*Mart to find two pairs of plain jeans (Riders) that would fit my big butt and short legs.

Sep 4th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

Sherrie: I would have gone to Switzerland too. :)

Just holler when you’re ready. I know you are busy!

Where did you write that?

Sep 4th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

SHG: Ayup.

Sep 4th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

Marina; Bummer. But yeah, it’s better not to go nuts with stuff I haven’t been able to wear for ten years. C’est la vie…

Sep 4th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

JL: I found nice solids in the plus dept. at Target. I hate big patterned anything. I was planning to shop in the men’s dept. if I couldn’t eventually find something in women’s.

Sep 4th, 2007
J. Lynne (35 comments.)

I no longer shop at Target for clothes. For a while I had a personal ban on shopping at Target at all. I wrote them several nasty communications about their Plus section in my area. It’s about the size of my work cubicle and 75% of the time is 50% filled with the clearance racks from the other clothes departments. What remains is usually unflattering, unfashionable, and not even in season.

I’ve had better luck at some of the local Wal-marts, but oddly enough not at the Super Wal-marts. Even then, it’s hit or miss. Sometimes, I can find something nice at Kohls.

The really worse part is that I am also Petite. Petite does not mean small-sized. It means short. Do you know how hard it is to find Plus-sized Petite pants? Do you know how tired I am of wearing pants that are too big in the crotch and butt? Not to mention that I hate to hem. By the way, when the pants are labeled “short”, that is not the same; that just means that they cut off the legs of some average-sized pants and hemmed them — still too big in the crotch and butt.

Talk about getting me on a favorite rant topic…and right when I’m trying to find new clothes for a fall wardrobe.

Sep 5th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

The plus size secton at my Target is also tiny, but happened to have exactly what I was looking for. As I said, I’d never needed to (well, that might not be true, but never *actually* did) shop there, before.

I’m “petite” too, and have *long* legs.

Sorry to have stirred up the hornet’s nest. I *do* know how much I hate shopping for clothes in general…

Sep 6th, 2007
Sherrie (33 comments.)

http://www.empowerment4women.com/feminista!/issue-%2318:-may%10june-2007/a-feminist-fairy-tale/

My feminist fairy tale. 3 working days left to I take off to the Ukraine! I plan to write the guest post tonight as it looks like I may actually get everything done today! ;-)

Sep 9th, 2007
Loppy

I understand where you are coming from and I applaud your decision to accept what you are! I grew up in the days of plus sizes being those polyester stretch pants with the seams down the front of the legs - every time I get discouraged, I remember those days. *shudders*

It is frustrating to shop for clothes when your body is not the “norm”. What gets me is that I don’t think I know of anyone who is the norm. Who are these clothes for? :)

Sep 9th, 2007
Griz

I accepted what I was years ago and have been a happier little Grizzly since. If people don’t like my size, then boll##ks to them.

Like the lady said, wear what you like and be happy.

Sep 9th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

Sherrie: cool! I will go read your story later but it’s bookmarked. :)

Sep 10th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

Loppy: Who knows? It’s been a long time since I could fit into anything smaller than a 16. *hug* So lovely to see you here.

Sep 10th, 2007
Linda R. Moore

Griz: Indeed. I don’t think your personality would *fit* in a skinny body.

Sep 10th, 2007