Thursday Thirteen #21: 13 emotions that we’re better off withoutDecember 6, 2007
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Thirteen emotions that we’re better off without
Self-pity: okay, so it may be useful in the short term to wallow. But really, what good does it do? Once your emotions are processed the whole “poor me” thing is old. Unhappiness is a powerful [...]
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- Self-pity: okay, so it may be useful in the short term to wallow. But really, what good does it do? Once your emotions are processed the whole “poor me” thing is old. Unhappiness is a powerful motivator.
- Guilt: yeah, so we all goof once in a while. Sometimes we goof in abysmal ways. But why feel guilty? If we do something bad, feel remorse and fix the problem if you can…or move on if you can’t. And with guilt always ask “Whose voice is asking me to feel guilty?” It might not be your own.
- Jealousy: seriously, why bother? Just be happy with the talents and assets that you do have.
- Angst: that got old after we were, like, thirteen, dude. Pick a path and deal with it. It’ll be fun.
- Boredom: go pet a cat. Or take a motorcycle ride. Or walk. Just realize that you are bored and do something other than all the things you “should” do and you’ll most likely feel better. Yeah, of course I get bored. I’m bored now. That’s why I’m writing a Thursday Thirteen instead of a travel essay or scooping the litter box. Because I don’t have to.
- Depression: well, we could do without this one period, but it’s not something you can just “get over.” But it’s certainly something we could all do without because it is so intensely crippling.
- Fear: being without fear is not the same as recklessness. Just put a different spin on whatever you’re afraid of and do it anyway. Fear generally only stops us from following our heart’s desire, and a lot of time it isn’t our own fear in any case.
- Hate: what use is hate? It causes you as much damage as it does the person/thing against which you direct it. Hate is hateful and eats you alive.
- Impatience: chill out already. Life goes on whether you’re bouncing off the walls or not. Some of us just move more slowly. Nobody’s going to admire you for bugging them to get out the door. It’s not that important.
- Irritability: nobody responds well to a grouch. Smile and they will smile back. Growl and they will growl back. Which is better? Answers on a postcard to…
- Worry: if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. Gnawing it over isn’t going to help. It will just make you sick and less able to deal with whatever is going to happen (which may not be anywhere as bad as you imagined, and probably won’t be). Waste of energy.
Hum that little song. You know. Don’t worry. Be happy.
- Pessimism. Why the put-downs, the doom and gloom, the naysaying? So miserable. What end does it meet? We were put on this earth to be happy. Give it a shot sometime, you might be surprised.
- Paranoia: yeah, we really are all out to get you. So now that you know this, are you happy? Oh good. Have a nice day!
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64 Comments on "Thursday Thirteen #21: 13 emotions that we’re better off without"
3. Joely (6 comments.) | December 6, 2007
I blogged about fear and writing just this week. Happy TT!
4. Marina (86 comments.) | December 6, 2007
Great T13! Nice reminder for someone who marinates in way too many of these…
(Mine won’t be up until later today or tonight)
5. Rian Fike (5 comments.) | December 6, 2007
This is the healthiest thirteen I have ever seen. I always tell everyone, including myself, that guilt is never a valid emotion. Thanks for the back up.
13 Love Scenes: http://fullbodytransplant.wordpress.com/2007/12/05/thursday-thirteen-the-love-scene/
6. Qtpies7 (1 comments.) | December 6, 2007
You’re not really paranoid when everyone IS out to get you!
Great list!
7. Maribeth (3 comments.) | December 6, 2007
Jealousy and Impatience are the two I dislike the most.
Great List.
Maribeth
8. mitchypoo (1 comments.) | December 6, 2007
A great list, and I wish it was so easy to just get over some of these feelings. Happy TT!
9. Faith (1 comments.) | December 6, 2007
This is a great 13!! And I’m so there with you about depression.
10. Lisa (2 comments.) | December 6, 2007
We sure would all be happier if we could do without those!
11. Kat's Krackerbox (2 comments.) | December 6, 2007
What a wonderful list. I am going to print it out. Thanks for stopping by my TT!!
12. Smiler (2 comments.) | December 6, 2007
Darn. I was just about to say something witty/authentic/appropriate in response to your list and now that I’ve read your comments policy, that’s all that comes to mind. How silly is that? Very good list. Much agreed that those emotions on the whole would best be dispensed with. However… they are also what makes us human and not just blissful deities. We have Nirvana to look forward to for that.
It’s my TT #3 and I’m enjoying what I’ve been finding so far!
13. Tyra (1 comments.) | December 6, 2007
I really like this list, it’s very true.
14. Haley-O (3 comments.) | December 6, 2007
The world would be a better place without a lot of these!! great list!!
15. Matthew James Didier (7 comments.) | December 6, 2007
Gotta be a LITTLE controversial…
#2: Without guilt there would be no remorse… no remorse, no worries about ANY type of consequences… Enter “Sociopathic Behaviour”. We need guilt… just not in great quantities… just enough to keep us honest.
#6: If there wasn’t a human need for depression, the concept of the theatrical tragedy would never have been born. We do need to stop and be introspective… just (again) not too much. Let’s face it, if someone was happy 24 x 7 – 365… I’d be rather worried about them.
#7: Fear, as you kinda pointed out, can be a literal lifesaver… it can hold one back, sure, but some folks need to be held back. To “not fear” a wild bear, for example, could be terminally bad.
11: Worry and concern are related… and concern, although troubling, can be a good thing as we can use the concern to prepare and possibly be ready for bad things IF/when they happen… and teach others to be wary of things we have good reason to be concerned about.
12: Ben Franklin once said he was a pessimist, because that we he was prepared for the worst, but pleasantly surprised when things went well.
13: See 11.
Sorry, had to be literal! :)
16. MissDJM (1 comments.) | December 6, 2007
This is a great list and also a good reminder for those days when we are really down in the dumps. It’s pretty funny too. And thank you too for coming by my TT. I’ll make a stop by your other two lists right after this.
17. julia (1 comments.) | December 7, 2007
Jealousy, angst, hate, impatience and irritability – all on my can’t-bear-them list. Jealousy – can’t one just be happy for other people’s happiness, instead of competitive? Angst – that’s when one is no longer depressed and could let go of things but won’t. Hate – most things that are hated aren’t understood by the hater. Could be relabeled ‘fear’. Impatience – for me the real teeth-gritter. I get very annoyed by impatient people. Yet I’m patient, so they probably can’t tell! Irritability – again, I’m very mellow. When I see someone getting all worked up about something, I wonder why they put so much effort into it.
18. Sherrie (39 comments.) | December 7, 2007
Fantastic list. I keep trying to avoid worry, not always with the results I desire. :-P But when I find myself really freaked out I try to ride it out with if its going to happen it will happen.
19. Chelle Y. (4 comments.) | December 7, 2007
Good list, although, I guess some of those can be a good thing, depending on how it is used.
Thanks for stopping by my TT!
20. Courtney (1 comments.) | December 7, 2007
A very unqiue list. Great!
21. Nicholas (17 comments.) | December 7, 2007
I think we are all prey to those emotions from time to time. Occasionally,some of them can be useful. Fear is a key emotion to survival!
Other people’s irritation really pisses me off!
22. greatfullivin (1 comments.) | December 7, 2007
Great list! You are so right we don’t need these. I liked #2 forget the guilt have remorse and fix it. Wonderful advice.
23. maryt/theteach (2 comments.) | December 7, 2007
Thanks for commenting on my TT – 13 things about Pearl Harbor. I enjoyed your TT post about emotions we can all do without. I get to reading the others soon. :)
24. On a Limb with Claudia (3 comments.) | December 7, 2007
Oh, I don’t know. I kind of think of emotions as biological functions – and certainly the science (biochemistry) bears witness to this. I think it’s what we DO with our emotions – blame other people, take them too seriously, get too self absorbed – that is the problem.
But that’s just me.
A really thoughtful post!
25. Dawn (5 comments.) | December 7, 2007
What an awesome list. I so agree with the 13 you have here. Thanks for visiting my TT. Sorry I didn’t notice your comment earlier, it was waiting moderation, and I didn’t even know I had that going on in my blog. Your’s is the first I have had there. I think it was because of the links. I approved you so it is all okay now.
26. Dawn (5 comments.) | December 7, 2007
Oops, my name ended up with an L on the end. Fixed that.
27. Sue (4 comments.) | December 8, 2007
Interesting list!
28. AtomiK Kitten (1 comments.) | December 8, 2007
Self pity is only partially useful – for about two seconds. Then we need to get over it and move on.
My granny always said only TWO people come to a pity party…yourself and the devil – and if you are feeling down those are the last two people you want around.
29. Frances (1 comments.) | December 8, 2007
Hi,
Thanks for stopping in at my 13.
This is a great list.
I try to avoid the pity parties and jealousy.
My dad used to say jealousy kills.
I’ve seen it rot people from the inside out.
Take care
30. Tink (6 comments.) | December 9, 2007
Yeah, I agree with you! But still, we need the lows to enjoy the highs more I guess…
Thanks for visiting my animated movies TT!
31. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Hi Deanna,
Well, for an RV, anyway. We had to move out and now we have *two* huge storage sheds full of stuff instead of one. ;)
The paring down only worked to a certain extent. :)
32. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Kristi–thanks! And thanks for visiting, too. :)
33. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Joely: and an interesting post ’twas, too. :)
34. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Hi Marina! Did you ever put your TT up?
35. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
You’re welcome, Rian. I loved your TT and will visit again. :)
36. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
QTpies…well, something like that, anyway *grin*
37. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Maribeth–thank you :)
38. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Mitchypoo–oh, I’m under no illusions that it would be easy. Still, worth working on. :)
Thanks for visiting.
39. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Faith: For sure! Happy TT.
40. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Lisa: indeed!
41. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Kat: Glad it can help a bit. Happy TT to you, too :)
42. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Smiler: one needs to work at getting into Nirvana. :) I think the whole purpose of life is to figure out how to be content…it’s a process, I think, rather than a reward.
Happy TT and many thanks for visiting. Sorry about blanking you out with the comments policy. ;)
43. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Tyra: thank you!
44. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Thanks, Haley! Glad you enjoyed it.
45. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Gonna answer this in full. :)
Gotta be a LITTLE controversial…
–> Well, no, you don’t *have* to be. Nobody is twisting your arm. So, let’s start this in the right way: you *choose* to be controversial, because it’s fun.
#2: Without guilt there would be no remorse… no remorse, no worries about ANY type of consequences… Enter “Sociopathic Behaviourâ€. We need guilt… just not in great quantities… just enough to keep us honest.
– I don’t agree. Guilt is the kind of emotion that chews you up and spits you out without result. Remorse is a genuine emotion which allows progress and bridge mending. Guilt is inwardly directed. Remorse is both inwardly and outwardly directed and can be healing.
#6: If there wasn’t a human need for depression, the concept of the theatrical tragedy would never have been born. We do need to stop and be introspective… just (again) not too much. Let’s face it, if someone was happy 24 x 7 – 365… I’d be rather worried about them.
– Happiness is not the opposite of depression. Deep unhappiness can cause depression, but so can a lack of sunlight and chemical imbalances in the brain. Depression makes it impossible to function, which is not useful.
#7: Fear, as you kinda pointed out, can be a literal lifesaver… it can hold one back, sure, but some folks need to be held back. To “not fear†a wild bear, for example, could be terminally bad.
– Indeed, but that’s not really the tack I was taking with this. I figured it would be too many words to spell out all the exceptions. ;)
11: Worry and concern are related… and concern, although troubling, can be a good thing as we can use the concern to prepare and possibly be ready for bad things IF/when they happen… and teach others to be wary of things we have good reason to be concerned about.
– Related, yes, but not the same thing and not interchangeable. Again, worry is inner-directed, and concern is able to heal. Worry never heals.
12: Ben Franklin once said he was a pessimist, because that we he was prepared for the worst, but pleasantly surprised when things went well.
– I’d rather be an optimist, believing that things can work out if I let them.
Pessimism is soul-destroying.
13: See 11.
– I don’t follow your point here.
Sorry, had to be literal! :)
– Nope. You *chose* to be literal. :-P
Thanks for making me think.
46. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Thanks so much for visiting, Miss DJM :) Glad to meet you.
47. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Julia–that’s it, exactly…why put so much effort into being negative? Life’s really a beautiful thing, and there is so much good to be had.
Thanks for your visit and your response. :)
48. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Sherrie: Sometimes riding it out is all you can do. I’m not immune to all of these, of course, but I do try to be aware of what I’m getting bogged down in. ;)
49. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Chelle–yes, I agree, but in general these are emotions that tend to hold people back. :)
Thanks for visiting and happy TT!
50. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Thank you, Courtney!
51. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Nicholas: Yup, I’m not immune either. Agreed about fear, but I was thinking more about the kind of fear that stops you doing things that might end up being incredible experiences. I almost chickened out of going on my big ride to Texas — and boy did I have a lot of woes on the way — but it was fantastic.
– Other people’s irritation really pisses me off!
LOL!
52. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Greatfullivin–thanks so much for visiting! Looks like we’re on the same page then. :)
53. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Thanks for visiting, Mary! I’ll be along to see your this week’s TT soon. :)
54. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Yes, Claudia, it’s definitely what we do with ‘em that counts. How you frame a situation–whether one can step back and see the bigger picture–can make a huge difference. While I agree that emotions are created by biochemistry, they’re still a fundamental part of being human and can’t be fixed by biochemistry. I figured it would be interesting to do away with some of the less useful ones and maybe think about what could replace them.
Thanks for visiting. :)
55. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Dawn–yes, the links might do that, and it’s a good idea to moderate (I always moderate first time posters to my blog). Thanks so much for visiting and I hope to swing by your place again this week :)
56. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Sue: thanks! Happy TT.
57. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Atomik Kitten: Your gran was very wise. :)
Thanks for visiting!
58. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Frances–yes, it really does (rot people from the inside out). I wish people could just be happy for one another.
59. Linda R. Moore | December 12, 2007
Tink: Yeah, but fewer highs and lows would be nicer. *grin*
60. Matthew James Didier (7 comments.) | December 13, 2007
I didn’t mean to offend and I do apologise for any perceived offence I may have caused. I used a psychology text-book instead of “plain speak” and was trying to be funny and possibly make a small point… that in psychology and science, there’s a reason for the existence of all emotions in some sense… and I was being literal… but I did understand the tenor of the post and therefore should not have made my comments.
I do apologise again.
61. Linda R. Moore | December 13, 2007
Bah! Once again the internet fails as a medium for playing.
I knew exactly what you were up to and I enjoyed both reading and responding to it.
No apology needed! Your response was thought-provoking and interesting, and I’m happy to have taken part.
62. J. Lynne (36 comments.) | December 17, 2007
Nah, I’m not giving up my paranoia. I kinda like it now.
63. Linda R. Moore | December 18, 2007
LOL! Well, enjoy. :)
64. Gary Robertson (2 comments.) | July 19, 2009
All very wise …. excellent advice … problem is … most of ‘em come with the human “package” …. I mean … hey …. most of life consists of …. well ….. that is … as someone once said ….. when you’re born …. it’s like being thrust on stage ….caught in the footlights ….. forced to preform …. without a script …. to wing it … to ad lib the whole performance ….. or as someone else once pointed out … mostly … in Life ….. we consult the road map ….. only “after” the trip …. ;)
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1. Deanna Dahlsad (4 comments.) | December 6, 2007
A great list :)
By the way, last time I played TT you said you’ve been pairing down your ’stuff’ — I imagine that’s more practical for a cycle :p