Raven's Roads
Living an interesting life: the travels and musings
of motorcycling author Linda R. Moore

When’s the last time you talked to your neighbor?

Growing up, our neighbors were friends. I played with the “kids next door.” We’d go round to borrow a cup of sugar–clichéd as that sounds–or just to chat, wish a happy birthday, have a glass of sherry on Christmas Day. We’d bring little gifts home from vacations–a snow globe, a tartan nail set, some toffee. There was a back fence to talk over and a world of news to exchange.

In my first home as a grown-up, i.e. after I moved in with my soon to be (first) husband, we tried to get to know my neighbors. To some extent we succeeded. We became friendly enough to recruit them as pet-sitters and house-guards when we went away, and to return the favor. But we weren’t friends in the same way, really.

I’ve lived in this home for over eight years, now. Until we were told that our entire mobile home park was going away, I barely knew any of my neighbors. It seemed that just as I was meeting them they were moving away, getting to know them at the “informational” meetings.

That’s not a good thing. Today, as I went outside, Rena opposite waved me over and I braved the ankle-biting chihuahuas to go chat. We’re both staying until the end, which is now roughly five weeks away. I learned that one of my former neighbors is in hospital, a second is in an interim place and has to move, aged 80+, twice in six months. I learned that people have been coming in and stealing the siding from the empty mobile homes. I learned that the charity assigned to help us move tried to house them in an apartment complex where there’d been a knifing and a murder.

I learned that she is a florist, and that the reason their home is so beautifully decorated with plants is that she is a florist. I met her daughter. The dogs stopped trying to chew me and decided that I was okay. I learned that she has a couple of leads for the Siamese cat.

We talked as friends. And in two months’ time we won’t be neighbors any more.

We isolate ourselves. It’s really quite unnecessary. Neighbors might never become your closest friends, but they could become allies. The easiest way to meet a neighbor is to throw a house-warming party, if you can do something like that. If not, then you could simply start with a hello when you spot the neighbor on the way to work, and ease into a “how are you doing” and take it from there. Conversation happens, relationships build, one sentence, one wave at a time. Stop telling yourself that you don’t have time. Really, what have you got to do that’s better than conversation? Watch TV?

Here’s a suggestion. If someone new moves into your neighborhood, take a leaf out of your ancestors’ book and bring them round a pie or some cookies. Introduce yourself, welcome them, say hello. Try to catch them in. Let them know that you’re around if they ever need some help. About 95% of people won’t push that too far. You’re not selling anything, so about 95% won’t snub you or push you away. Those are pretty good odds.

Like I said. When’s the last time you talked to your neighbors?

Here are some other posts

• Thursday Thirteen #21: 13 emotions that we’re better off without
• Thursday Thirteen #22: Better decluttering through Thursday Thirteen
• Thursday Thirteen #7: 13 Things I’d barely thought about two weeks ago
• Thursday Thirteen #23: 13 Things about the winter solstice
• Thursday Thirteen #19–13 ways to cheat outrageously at NaNoWriMo

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